In a little over two weeks I will be 30. (YIKES) I am hoping to do several things with this blog to commemorate this milestone over the next three Thursdays. The first is a letter to myself as an 18-year-old. It was great to write - I recommend you do it for yourself and discover how God has brought you to where you are this very moment.

Dear Ashley,

You are 18 and a college freshman. You think you are so old, and have it pretty much all figured out. You think you are going to be married and done with having kids by 30. You think you are on top of the world. You have so much hope, and tons of promise. Oh, being 18 is great for those things alone and you are going to love this year for many reasons.

Let me tell you though, dear girl, that you are young (YOUNG!) and inexperienced. This is not a bad thing. In fact, many say that youth is wasted on the young. Please, don't waste it. Take advantage of your time and your circumstances. You still have a sweet innocence about you. You have yet to discover real heartache and challenges.

I am writing to you as a soon to be 30-year-old. And, take a seat, because you are going to be floored when I tell you the rest. You aren't married. You don't have children. You are back in Kingsburg. You aren't doing what you majored in. You are not at all what you envisioned you will be.

And that's OK.

Ashley, the next twelve years of your life are going to be hard...and then really great. Your twenties will really suck until you are 24ish. The last half of your twenties are going to be awesome...rough at times...but altogether wonderful. You are going to become a whole different person. At times you are going to wonder if you are still the girl you were at 18 at heart. I am here, standing on the other end, to tell you yes - that and so much more because of the many experiences you are going to encounter. You are beautiful, smart, have a good heart, loyal, and worth it. You are SO WORTH IT. I repeat this because this is what you will ponder for a good many years.

As I write you I wonder if I should give you some advice on how to live the next twelve years of your life. Many of the struggles will teach you and shape you to be a better person for yourself and others. Some of the obstacles you have to endure will be the result of stupid (LAME!) mistakes. And many wonderful adventures and surprises will come your way...all of these which come by the will of God.

Which brings me to a major thing I want you to realize (and I know you think you are too good at times to listen at 18). Listen to your Christian mentors and friends. Heed their advice. Soak in their wisdom. God places them in your path for a reason. He chooses to speak through them. If you allow them, they will be a huge blessing in your life and help you tremendously so you can turn around and let God do the same through you for others.

Some other pointers (30 for 30) that you should know as you prepare for the next few years:

1) You will wonder if leaving Milligan is the right choice. It is. You will stay friends with the girls. Go to Fresno State. You are going to make some amazing friends there...
2) One of those Fresno State girls will become one of your best friends and end up living on the other side of the country with you (YES! You will be moving back East!)
3) You will date a boy fairly soon. End it when you know to end it. Don't let it drag on...and on...and on. Respect him and yourself when ending it.
4) It's OK to take that semester off from Fresno State when you wanted to. If you don't, you will fail that whole semester anyway.
5) Don't let Dr. Tucker treat you badly for being a Christian. Confront him in love, take it to the faculty.
6) Becoming an intern with YL is the right thing to do. Do it. That girl you see around, Tiffanie, become friends with her ASAP. She is awesome and will be a great ally during your first few years on staff.
7) When you sub to make some extra money, don't do jr. high or high school. Yeah, you are young and cool, but it still doesn't matter. They are punk kids to subs. Little ones, on the other hand, LOVE their subs. Don't give yourself that stress.
8) Don't let others make you feel guilty over job decisions, or having to re-talk over and over and process the hurt in your life from disappointment and lack of direction in several areas.
9) and...go to counseling!!!
10) Hang out with the ADX girls as much as you can. They are a gift.
11) It's OK to not know a plan. When you begin to feel like you don't know what to do with your life and feel like taking a job as a chiropractic assistant is crap, do it anyway. It is just a stepping stone to a surprise God has waiting for you. And the roommates you will have during that waiting period of a few years will be a blast over all and give you great times.
12) You go girl and take those trips. It will give you a taste of what God wants you to do.
13) When you move to NJ (I know, I bet you never thought you would go there of all places), take the time to learn the culture and work with it properly.
14) When you move to NJ, you will begin to date. It won't end up the way you planned. Be prepared and don't give away your heart. Date him though, those months will give you great memories.
15) Take advantage of the location you are in. This will be one of the best times of your life until now. God will also help develop a wonderful friendship with two girls - both from the West Coast!
16) Go to grad school. It will be hard and take what one particular prof tells you about yourself with a grain of salt. The rest of it will be great and include new and terrific friends. God will teach you a lot. You WILL graduate. Oh, and on that one incident at school, speak up and do the right thing. You'll know what I mean.
17) Be as relational as possible with the YLWJ kids entrusted to your care - and the committee.
18) Don't ever be satisfied with your walk with Jesus. Always desire Him first.
19) Know He loves you as you are, you will doubt that at times. Be ready to counter attack those thoughts.
20) Like that commercial says, brownies ARE your enemy. Don't let yourself gain that weight back.
21) Your family will be there for you in the best way they know how. Be that for them too.
22) When you come back to CA, don't get a foreign exchange student.
23) Be the cheer advisor, but put your foot down with the crazy parents from the very beginning.
24) Be an example...even when alone.
25) Do the right thing...always
26) Love Jesus and others as best you can, and then more. That way you will be pushing yourself to go further and out of your comfort zone.
27) You won't be married when you are 30. So don't spend your twenties worrying about it. Learn to be content with where God has you in the moment. And being single can be tons of fun.
28) Date those boys that you passed over because you were way too picky. But yeah, those boys you did pass over because they were weird, that's still OK.
29) Avoid debt.
30) That two drink limit rule? It's a good one. Keep it.

Love, Ashley