Sunday, December 28, 2008
That being said, the holidays are (in addition) a really, really hard time for single people like me. It is such a huge desire of mine to be married and to have children of my own, and it is difficult to endure yet another holiday season “alone.” If you have been reading my blog you know that I go through seasons like this, where I have my own little pity party for being single. I try to be brave…and sometimes I just let myself vent. (It also doesn’t help that YL kids I knew in NJ, and their college leaders, are getting engaged and married before I even have a prospect!)
I did recently meet two people through a Christian online matching service who were interesting. One I really liked (as much as you can like from seeing some pics, their facebook, and profile). He seemed like a Godly man (from a super loving family) and told me he was curious about getting to know me. I was really looking forward to making a new friend, while also being cautious about who he would be in person. He must have decided he wasn’t interested, because he hasn’t written in a week. I am a little bummed but it is what it is – and we were only new online friends at that time anyway. And, after reading the fabulous book (which I would recommend to all single women) He’s Just Not That Into You, I know that that is the case here and I won’t lower myself to pleading emails or flowering up excuses as to why he hasn’t contacted me. (I should also mention that I was the one to write the last email, so the ball is in his court.) Like I said, he did appear to be a quality man, so I am just racking it up to experience and keeping on keeping on.
The other guy wasn’t all that appealing to me. For one reason, he lived way - way too far away. But, he did seem like a nice guy and seemed to love the Lord so I did email with him back and forth a few times. I then found out he voted for Obama. Which, for me, is a deal-breaker. I just don’t think I can be suited well with someone who has such sharply different voting ideals (i.e. abortion). He must have found out I voted for McCain (which to me wasn’t that greatest choice either), because he hasn’t replied to my last email, either! Ha! So, that new friendship has come to a quick end as well. I am much more OK with this one doing that though!
So that being said I am wondering if I should keep on trying the online dating thing or give it a rest. Right now I am only doing the free trial. Of course it is New Year Resolution time so obviously I want to make one of those be “meeting my husband.” (Such a small resolution, right?;-)) I would prefer it be the old fashioned way (in person) but I also want to be open to whatever God has for me. It costs money (and a lot of money to me) so I am trying to decide what to do. He has to be out there, somewhere. I am trying my very best to be content with where God has me each day, and frankly I think I have done a fairly good job at it. Yet I don’t think it is so bad to keep on yearning and seeking out a life partner, as so many other people I know have been blessed with. I know that there are many things I need to work on within myself. But I also know (at least I think I do) that I would be a good wife and mom. I don’t know why God has me in this waiting game, but I will continue to look to Him even if I don’t understand (especially on days like today).
So besides meeting someone my second resolution will be what it always is – keep on moving towards a healthier body and lifestyle. This includes physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually healthy. Physically – I would love to keep up my exercise routine while adding a second workout per day as I did this summer. I want to honor God by what I choose to eat. I also want to drop one to two dress sizes by summer. Totally doable. Mentally – I have been considering going for my Ed. D. While I have decided that right now I don’t have the time to carry that burden, maybe I just could take one class at a time. I do enjoy learning… Socially – I need to spend more time with local single women. I have many, many dear married friends in the area that I love. With Jerelyn marrying, my last close single local Valley friend was “gone.” So, I need to seek out some new peers to add to my circle. I should also mention that I DO still have two wonderful best friends (who happen to still be single – and they are such gems and great catches) who are like sisters to me. But one lives in WA and one in VA. Boo! While I am very thankful that I have a family who likes to hang out and do things together, I still need to stay in touch with Fresno area people who are in the same shoes I am. Spiritually - I would love to find a small group to be a part of (my church does not offer any for single women that I am aware of. While normally I would start one myself to solve that problem, I know that I am at my limit for “leading” responsibilities and really need someone else to be that person.). I also want to be more dedicated to my daily quiet times.
I am getting over being sick. I felt it coming on last week at Jerelyn’s wedding. Turns out I have a viral respiratory infection. I had a phone consultation with a doctor (they were too swamped to get me in) and he informed me of the epidemic (his words, not mine) that is going around – which I am now a part of. Since it is viral I would just have to ride it out. Thankfully everything is happening as he said it would…the time frame as to when I would feel like I turned the corner and now getting better, etc. I can now taste and smell, but I still have sinus pressure and congestion. I didn’t miss any work (of which I am glad of – that I stuck it out) and I am glad that when I go back tomorrow that I will (should) feel even better then today. I am thankful to the Lord of this healing process! It is no fun being sick – I hope that you don’t catch it too!!
Speaking of work, I continue to be busy, busy, busy. A new case popped up about six weeks ago which occupies most of my time. I was able to finish the work that needed to be done NOW, on Wednesday. Now I have to wait until the baby is born to do more. (It is for a relinquishment.) Therefore this week I have to catch up on what I have neglected. It is enough to keep me busy all of this week and then some. I still love doing adoptions. I don’t love not being in control of some decisions and having to abide by some of the totally lame laws, but I do love helping families come together. (It is a privilege to be a part of something so special.) I am thankful for my job! If you are ever in the area, come by and visit. I can always do a long(er) lunch!
I am hoping to attach some pics to this blog post from two special things that happened in Dec (other then Christmas, of course!). My family and I went to Disneyland a few weeks ago. We stand at the Disneyland hotel and spent three days at the two parks. It was a really fun time and my niece’s first visit. I was pleasantly surprised with how many rides she could go on – and the employees were very good with her. The park was much busier then I thought it would be for that time of year (although we did go early one morning and that was so, so worth it) but that was probably because of all the neat Christmas celebrations and decorations that Disney does. It was very cool. I like Disneyland…but don’t feel like it is someplace I need to go to every year. The last time I went to a Disney park was to Disneyworld with Young Life friends in 2004. So, it was definitely time to revisit and it worked well with all of our schedules. Staying in that hotel (which is a treat for this family) was also a huge bonus. I recommend it!
Jerelyn’s wedding was a week ago yesterday. It was very special to be a part of her day. I know that she was happy and so obviously because of that I was happy for her. She was a beautiful bride!! I loved being in the wedding party with one of my best friends, Kristin, too. Some of my sorority sisters were there as well so (as always) it was nice to visit with them. Jerelyn is in Hawaii right now on her honeymoon – lucky! Can’t wait to hear about everything when she comes back. She also now lives in Kingsburg!
January is always a hard month for me. The holidays are over and I feel like it is bleak weather and nothing to look forward to. I am fixing that problem though!! My family and I are going to spend a couple of days up in the snow in Fish Camp, and then I am going to visit Hannah in Seattle in just under three weeks. I am also hoping that she can come down and visit me sometime soon (hint, hint). Plus, my friend Kristin is still in town so I will get in at least one more day with her before she returns to VA. All of these things will make a dismal month (for me) a very bright one!
I caught up on all of your blogs yesterday! I have been so busy, which I think is now my new routine, that I haven’t been the best at visiting all of your sites. But I am thankful that you continue to post, as I do love reading your stories and reading about your creations or adventures. Keep it up!! And thanks for keeping up with me – you all are the best. Love you all. Merry (belated) Christmas and Happy New Year!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
So much to update you on…this is the “newsy” blog I promised you…
Trip to VA
Last weekend Jerelyn and I went out and surprised Kristin with a visit. We had been planning on this since mid-August and were bursting at the seams in keeping the secret for so long. We hardly told anyone we were going – we wanted to make sure our secret would be safe. We took the red-eye out on Thursday night and arrived on Friday morning. We surprised her at Panera Bread (thanks to Troy for helping us out!!) and her expression was priceless. After lunch Jerelyn and I went to Kristin’s for a nap and a shower and we spent the rest of the evening baking brownies, watching a movie, and eating Ledo’s Pizza. Saturday we slept in and attempted going to Great Falls but had to ditch the plan when it began to rain (it literally started pouring before we left the parking lot!:-(). We then went to the mall to take Jerelyn shopping for some “goodies” and then went to dinner at Sweetwater Tavern. That night we watched another movie and hung out at Kristin’s place. It was late that night that we learned that Jerelyn’s dad was in a difficult place and gravely ill…and a few short hours later, in the very early morning, that we learned he passed away (I will allow Jerelyn to touch on this subject more as it is her personal business…in the meantime keep her and her family in your prayers). As a result Jerelyn flew home on the first flight out on Sunday morning and Kristin and I spent Sunday at church (more specifically her Single’s group) and caring for our friend as she tried to make it home to CA amidst a bunch of flying obstacles. I flew back to CA on Monday. Needless to say the trip did not go as expected and while we had the best intentions in going and having a great “girls time out,” our time together will always be remembered as the weekend that Jerelyn had to say good-bye to her beloved father while she was several thousand miles away. I do hope to go back to the EC in the late winter or spring. I try to go every 6 months or so.
Ryan’s Team
CVC is doing great! From what I hear Ryan was even in the Fresno Bee this weekend as a possible pick for coach of the year if his team continues to progress in playoffs. Come out and cheer them on the day after Thanksgiving. It is a home game…and I will be there to visit with as well.J I do feel a bit guilty that I haven’t attended any (OK, I did attend the KHS/CVC game) KHS games – especially since I need to be putting in contact work hours for YL and football games are a great way to do it – but it has been just too much fun hanging out with the family and going to root Ryan and his team on. I have never been able to do this before (as last year I was the cheer coach for KHS and the three years before that I lived on the EC) so I guess it is only fair that I get to experience it this year! And I am glad that I am.
Work
I really love my job now that I have taken on 10+ adoptive cases. It is a very rewarding job and I love to see God bring forever families together. Most of the families I work with are wonderful, well deserving families – and I truly enjoy building relationships with them. I have also been able to assist in two international adoptions, which has also been great. I still oversee a few foster family cases, so that combined with adoptions (and helping to train the new social worker) and my job has become busy, busy, busy!!! I feel like I have found my niche in life career-wise. I feel blessed to be a social worker. Now only if it paid more…hehehe
Social Life
I am blessed to live so close to my family and that they include me in a lot of their outings and times together. I do enjoy spending time with them. I also enjoy time with friends, but have been bummed out that all my local single friends are now married or engaged. While I am super happy for them, I am sad that my single peer group has dwindled. This has made me seriously consider moving to a place that has more people “like me.” Obviously it is my desire to marry and have a family. In the meantime, though, I am feeling more and more pressure to create my own family of other single friends, mainly because I am freaking out about being alone in a few years (socially). As you know, I have been seriously considering moving to the NOVA area ever since I moved back to CA, but have put that idea on the back burner as I wanted to hear God’s guiding loud and clear and wanted also to have the finances to afford it. I am at the place where I simply don’t know what to do. I am content here in the Valley, but also believe I would be content on the EC. I just don’t want to stay here and regret not leaving in the future – but at the same time I don’t want to miss out on Phelan family stuff here. I have not heard God’s leading loud and clear – but I also know He will go with me wherever I go if I make Him the priority. In some ways I feel like I am back to square one. What to do?
Twilight
I zipped through this book on my flight home and LOVED it. Both Hannah and Brooke had told me how I had to read it. I wanted to but just didn’t put it at the top of my list. Well, needless to say, I finally got to it and already went out and bought and started the sequel, New Moon, yesterday. And, I admit, I already visited the “spoiler” websites. I just couldn’t wait to find out about the ending!! OK, so I know, the premise sounds kinda silly, and the book is definitely a teenie-bopper read, but it is Oh! So! Good! Anyone want to be my date for the movie?
Holidays
Yay! I love this time of year!! Can’t wait to decorate for Christmas. Yesterday it was 83, and today it is in the 70s. While I see the trees changing (and they are so bright and pretty – I have never seen the Valley trees change quite like this before) it just doesn’t feel like fall because it is so warm. Don’t get me wrong – I love this weather! For me it is perfect – mild during the day and a bit chilly at night…awesome!!
Gallbladder
It has been over a month and I have had zero problems since the surgery. Guess I am all better. Next health problem to tackle – my diet!! Going back to it tomorrow! Gotta drop a size for Jer’s wedding in just over a month!! Yikes!!Thursday, November 06, 2008
And on a completely different note, yesterday I was in court (ALL DAY) for a client and on my lunch break got in my car to head off to find some lunch and heard Christmas music on the radio. I thought it might be a special lunch hour thing but it was not, as it was still there while I was driving home last night. I love Christmas music, but I will probably need to restrain from listening to it until Thanksgiving as I get sick of it fairly quickly - the radio stations here seem to play the same songs over and over and over. It was a fun little treat yesterday though...:-)
Next time I blog I am hoping to catch you up on my life a bit more! Haven't written on that in a while. Happy Thursday! I am off to get ready to go walking - and then have another long and busy work day ahead of me!!
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Second, check this out:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/huntleybrown.asp
It is an AMAZING read and this man basically wrote all my thoughts. I promise after this post I won't post anything more political!! Tuesday is almost upon us and whether or not "my guy" wins it is time to move forward and leave the divisiveness behind us.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Body count in the last six months:
292 killed (murdered) in Chicago ;
221 killed in Iraq .
Chicago.... Who Runs it:
Senators: Barack Obama & Dick Durbin
Rep: Jesse Jackson Jr.,
Illinois Gov: Rod Blogojevich,
Illinois House leader: Mike Madigan,
Illinois Atty. Gen.: Lisa Madigan (daughter of Mike),
Chicago Mayor: Richard M. Daley (son of Mayor Richard J.Daley)
.....our leadership in Illinois .....all Democrats.
Thank you for the combat zone in Chicago .
Of course, they're all blaming each other!
Can't blame Republicans; there aren't any!
State pension fund $44 Billion in debt, worst in country.
Cook County ( Chicago ) sales tax 10.25% highest in country. (Look 'em up if you want to).
Chicago school system rated one of the worst in the country.
This is the political culture that Obama comes from in Illinois . And he's gonna 'fix' Washington politics for us? Wake Up America !
On a slightly different note, I will be so glad when this election is over. I am so tired of all the commercials, all the mail in my mailbox (how many trees have they killed and trash have they produced by those crappy fliers??), and calls on my answering machine. Plus, I hate debating politics with people. It is so divisive and I would almost rather not know where people stand (and I'm sure they feel that way about me). Because, if I don't agree with them, my opinion of them changes...and I hate that!! I don't want to be that person.
I have shared that I don't really care for either candidate. I am choosing who is the lesser of two evils (for lack of a better term) in my opinion. I do hope that whomever becomes president, that we as a people bond together and respect him and pray for him. It is a big job - a job I know I would not want. And while I'm sure both are in it for just as much fame and glory as a true desire to lead our country forward - they ARE putting their lives on the line.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
1) I got a raise!! And, I found out it is retro active back to my one year anniversary, which was in August. PTL! I am going to use the extra $$ in this paycheck to pay off my moving loan from NJ to CA. FINALLY!
2) Gas is now starting in the twos. I remember joking with my friend Jerelyn saying we would throw a party when it was down in the threes. Now it is really time to party! Remember when we were close to five in the summer? Crazy!
:-)
Monday, October 20, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
After that I met my mom and did some shopping at Costco and Target. We also went and saw Fireproof. I had heard a lot of favorable reviews and was really excited to see it for myself. And, I must say that it was a decent movie. The beginning was a bit cheesy and then it got a lot better. I would recommend that you go and see it. I LOVED how they emphasized that we cannot trust our feelings and that we have to "lead our hearts." So, so true!! My only complaint on this movie would be that they do not have the wife becoming accountable for her actions at the end of the movie, but in the final scenes you assume that she has. I worry that this movie is preaching to the choir (as it was very easy to tell that the audience was full of Believers by their comments and actions) but if that is indeed true, many Christians are struggling in their marriages too and God might choose to use this film to speak to them. It is our job to join with that cast and crew and pray that Non-Believers who need to see it happen to see it as well. Am I claiming this movie will cure marital problems? Not at all. I do believe, though, that God will use it to help a lot of marriages to ultimately bring glory to Him.
When the movie was over my mom and I went to Chick-Fil-A for dinner. There is now one in Riverpark - where the old Krispy Kreme used to be. I was so THRILLED when I noticed that a Chick-Fil-A was coming to town. Having lived on the EC for three years, Chick-Fil-A had become one of my fave choices if I had to eat fast food for a meal. I was always bummed we didn't have one here in the valley (or any on the WC that I knew of). Now that we have Panera and Chick-Fil-A I am one happy camper!!
Here are two fun pics from this weekend:
Sullivan (26 mos) showing off the lipstick MiMi allowed her to apply herself. This was taken at Ryan's football game on Friday night against Chowchilla (and the Cavs won). She sure is a cutie.
On Friday night I was getting ready to go to bed and I couldn't find Jersey. I then found him in Jerelyn's bathroom - in her sink. I have seen him get in my sink sometimes and take naps. I always thought he did it because it was nice and cool there in the summer...but it would annoy me to no end because I don't want my cat in my sink! Anyway, thought it was funny and took a pic. He will be one on Nov. 1. Sometimes that cat gets on my last nerve, but he is a funny one too.
Tonight I am going to the Amy Grant concert in Visalia. I still love Amy Grant's music after all these years. They bring back great memories from growing up...especially her Christmas album. It will be a fun night and a great way to start off the week!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
-When she pulled a plastic green bell pepper out of the little food basket I said, "Oh! Pepper!" She gave me a knowing look and then went and placed it on the ledge of her play kitchen, right next to her plastic pepper shaker. She then proudly announced, "Two peppers!" I laughed and told her that yes, they are the same name, but different peppers. I don't think she understood but I was so proud of her making the name association.
-She put a pot on the stove, put her hand on her hip, and told me to "wait." Then when her little timer went off she said, "Done!" and served me a very delicious dish of plastic spaghetti.
-I yawned a few times and she gave me a disappointed look and said, "No! No home Ash!"
I just read this on my SIL's blog ----->"...yesterday Aunt Ashley was on her way over for an evening walk and Sulli said, 'Ash happy see me, all da time'... to which I responded, 'Oh, does she smile and kiss you when she sees you?'. She said, 'Yessss, and hug too!'"
She's right, I do love the time I get with her! She is precious, and I am glad she isn't mad at me for putting her in time out over the weekend for spilling dog food on the floor purposely. :-)
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
I then went back upstairs and waited for about 30 mins to get called in. When I was called in I put on the gown that makes you feel super vulnerable and was assigned a bed to wait in. While I was waiting a surgical nurse came over and told me he was going to start my IV. At this point it was 1ish - we were right on time. He tried pumping up my veins in my hands but then figured he should just do the IV in my arm (which I was hoping for anyway). He first prepared an injection to numb the area and right after he gave me the shot he put in the IV. The numbing had not taken effect yet, I don't know why he didn't wait a bit, but it didn't matter as I have become an expert in getting blood drawn and IVs in that particular vein so it was as expected and I was mentally ready for it. My dad then came back and sat with me and at 1:20 another surgical nurse came back and told me that my doctor was running behind with a patient, and that while I was next in line, I would just have to wait it out.
And wait I did. My parents took turns sitting back in the room with me as we all watched the clock. About every hour I had to get up, grab my IV, and shuffle to the bathroom while holding my gown shut in the back (that IV made me have to pee sooooo much!!). Another patient came in and I discovered that she was to go in after me. (I felt bad for her having to wait too.) We waited until we were the last ones in pre-op. They ended up closing pre-op (around 5 PM) and rolled us over to post-op. I was beyond annoyed about having to wait so long and literally do nothing but get more and more anxious but what are you going to do? It could have been worse - I could have been a part of that family who had been waiting on the surgery before me to finish like it should have hours ago and wondering what the heck was going on.
In post-op I began to see people being rolled out of surgery performed by other doctors. They were still sleeping and they looked terrible - very white and one had his tongue hanging out of his mouth. This only made me even MORE nervous.
Finally at 7:15 I was wheeled into surgery. My doctor was tired but still up for performing it. I was praying the whole time that I would be brave but really all I wanted to do was run away. When they wheeled me into the operating room the first thing I saw was a nurse cleaning the longest surgical tool I had ever seen. I began to silently freak out. They had me get on the other bed and they began to strap my legs down and strap my arms out to the side. They told me they were giving me medicine to make me less nervous and the last thing I remember is the nurse coming over and holding my hand. They never had me count backwards and never told me I was going to sleep. They just did it.
I remember dreaming and feeling my legs go up and down (with these special leg balloon things to prevent blood clots) and shivering, but I didn't come all the way around until I was in the recovery room. Every few mins a chime would go off and a nurse would yell at me to take a deep breath. I had heard them do this with other patients in recovery before I had my surgery so I knew the worst part was over.
For the next hour I tried to wake myself up but all I wanted to do was sleep. I would open my eyes for a bit then sleep some more. Finally the nurse came by and asked me what my pain was. I told him I was in pain and he gave me some meds through my IV. Then he let me rest some more and my dad was allowed in to visit me.
When my dad was sent to the pharmacy I was told to get dressed and get ready to go. I couldn't believe I was being told that. I could barely keep my eyes open, I had just had an organ yanked out and I was in extreme pain, and I was told to get up and get dressed all by myself. I did my best though. I sat up slowly and began to put one foot on the floor. Then a rush of nausea came over me and the nurse came running in with some smelling stuff that didn't help at ALL, it just made me wretch (as he called it) all the more.
Finally after sitting up I was able to get myself together and get dressed. I couldn't bend over and put my shoes on but I managed to put my tshirt and sweats on. At that point I was exhausted and laid back down on the bed. The nurse came in with, oh the joy, another injection of meds. But since he had taken my IV out (before he told me to get dressed) he decided to give me the shot in...my thigh. That was my first experience getting a shot in the thigh and I wouldn't recommend it.
Oh, and did I mention that my throat hurt and I could barely speak as a result of having the tube down my throat during the operation? NO FUN!
OK, this is getting really long so I will try to speed it up. The ride home to Kingsburg was fine, I slept through a lot of it. I was able to eat a few crackers and drink some apple juice which was nice since it had been over 24 hours since I last ate. We got home and I was put to bed. I slept well but had to get up several times to pee as that IV was still working its way through me. I woke up the next morning and was able to hobble hunched over out to the living room. I was able to eat eggs and toast for breakfast and take a shower. I noticed I had three bandages on my stomach. The largest one (which also hurts the most) is the one in my belly button.
In the days that have passed all the bandages have come off except that belly button one. The incisions still hurt but not nearly as much as previously and the past two nights I have been able to go back to sleeping on my stomach (even though it does hurt a bit). I am just careful with bending and what I put against my stomach. Overall I have simply been resting and each day has been better. Today I am getting out of Kingsburg for the first time in close to a week. I can eat normal food and walk fairly well. I plan on going back to work on Monday.
Good things about being house bound:
-Catch up on sleep.
-Get to find out what it is like being in your house at, say, 2 PM on a Wed. afternoon.
-Watch movies (such as John Adams, Baby Mama, crap on TV such as the Brideszilla marathon, and Office season one).
-Catch up on blogs.
Bad things about being housebound:
-You begin to feel sorry for yourself and get angry about the friends and family who don't call/send cards/flowers, and/or volunteer to come over to visit and/or help you.
-Boredom.
-No exercise.
-Feel like you are wasting your time.
Next time I go to the hospital I hope it is for something like a baby! I was told that gall bladder pains and surgery are very comparable, if not worse, then labor and a C-section so I guess I am all set!
BTW, I did not have stones (as ruled as inconclusive by the $700 ultra sound). Just a defective gallbladder with scar tissue that was going kaput. So, I do feel vindicated in that the right decision was made and the surgery and recovery, while hard, was the right and brave thing to do!!:-)
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Last Saturday Jerelyn and I went to Laguna Hills (which made for a very long day) to see Cindy get married. It was fun to have the roomies reunited again! It was a nice` day. Jerelyn is now a roomie again until she gets married in Dec!





















