in my mind, males can be classified under 3 main categories: boys, guys and men. i will explain how i view each as best as i know how...
boys: these are males who think life is a game. or at least they live to play... most, if not all day. they splurge their monies (if they make any) on the latest toys and gadgets, trendy clothes, entertainment, food, drinks. they are often unruly and undisciplined with no consideration or regard for others, only themselves. you wonder if and when these individuals will ever grow up...and sadly, some never do. they tend to look for strong girls who can step in as a mother figure and take charge of their share of responsibility, keep their clothes clean, make their meals, etc. frankly, i find they are the reason why femnazis exist because though they're fun to pal around with, they make poor husbands and fathers. period. woe to the girl who fools around this this male and finds herself impregnated and alone.
guys: this second category is where I notice the vast majority of males past their teens fall into. Guys are good because they have matured to the point that they can and are willing to be considerate for women. But if you are a discerning girl you find that their motives are not selfless at all; guys have an agenda. That agenda might be conquering you. I have met loads of nice guys, however, they want to impress me so that I will somehow want them and therefore flatter them in return. Guys I meet are interested in girls primarily for their looks and how the girl will in turn make them look/feel. They are rather image-oriented. And thus, time tells all when you begin to realize the guy cares more about the image of having a girl that meets his perceived needs than he cares about you specifically. Guys like to date/ flirt with as many girls as possible, hoping they'll get a "catch". One a guy bags you (sexually or your attention) he tends to cool off simply because he's won. you were just a game for him and you gave in. Often guys want trophy wives... simply meaning that you provide some asset that makes him think he's better off (good looks, money, contacts, etc.). My dealings with guys have left me feeling devalued, used and manipulated. They can wear you down because what they offer initially has the appearance of genuine love/care/concern, but their words and actions can be shallow.
men: True men are modern day Boaz figures (check out the story of Ruth). They aren't flashy trying to get attention, they simply command notice by the fact that they are respectable people. Men are selfless, willing to put their life and concerns down for promoting the well-being of women that they wish to protect and provide for. Instead of simply asking women for help and walking away, they help regardless of what the woman looks like or whether she has consented because they live to meet other's needs. A true man is God-fearing, he sees and treats all women with equal concern and compassion. He is not "out to get a wife" because He knows his God will provide for his needs. A true man therefore rests assured in who he is and can simply live to his full potential uninhibited by the need to flaunt himself. He knows that charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting and he admires, respects and values women with character and holiness. You can trust a man's words because he means what he says in that he actively demonstrates his character to be true by how he treats you. A man refuses to play with womens' hearts or emotions for his own gain. Rather, he stands as their guardian and protector demonstrating true love and concern. Men leave a lasting impression on the hearts and minds of women because they stir true longings for a deeper love... a love which God Himself gives. A man will mirror Christ's love and all women commend him in his ways.
now, i am not foolish enough to insist that i can neatly fit every male into these three categories, but i will concede that in my life on occasion i have come across some of the most stellar men. their names are still on my heart to this day because of the impression they left on my life, as my dear loving brothers, i would want a husband that mirrored their own hearts. men are few and far between and people give me flak that i'm "too picky" or i "just need to settle". now i understand that many girls do cheapen themselves or make their priority their appearance rather than character because "that's what guys want". and i have to agree. that IS what GUYS want.
But I don't want to settle for a boy. Not even a guy. I want a man of God. I know it seems next to impossible, but with God ALL things ARE possible...if you just BELIEVE. And, honestly, if a man does not come for me that is ok because I am living not to get married, but I am giving my all for Jesus Christ. Giving your life over to God is a dangerous, adventurous thing because you plan to expect the unexpected. The Lord has been faithful and will be faithful to continue dealing with my heart and emotions.
...but when my day does come, I earnestly hope to be like the woman of character in Song of Solomon who was praised by the daughters of Jerusalem for her virtue as well as that of her husband. that would be my most precious wedding gift indeed... that God would be glorified by my earthly union. amen!
