Christmas just ended and 2009 is right around the corner. I really, really enjoyed this fall and Holiday season. I was super busy – which is exactly the way I like it! My Thanksgiving was definitely one of the better ones of a few years, and this Christmas was low key (and minus a crabby German, hehehe), which made it lovely and stress-free. I hosted Christmas stockings and breakfast at my house this year – totally fun. We had dinner at my folks’ house. I much prefer holidays in Kingsburg to Fresno – but I understand we have to take turns and that is OK. I enjoyed picking out gifts and decorating my house – and was blessed with many gifts, those material and non-material, in return. I put away all of my decorations the other day and was really impressed with how blessed I am. I live in a safe neighborhood in a safe town on the same street as family. I have decent clothes to wear, access to food, and fun things to do. I have family and friends who truly care about me and want to know me and spend time with me. I even have frivolous things such as Christmas decorations. I am beyond taken care of. I even received a (ginormous) frame for a photo collage and when putting pictures in it (I made sure they were all 2008 pictures) I was very thankful for the life, people, and opportunities that the Lord has given me.
That being said, the holidays are (in addition) a really, really hard time for single people like me. It is such a huge desire of mine to be married and to have children of my own, and it is difficult to endure yet another holiday season “alone.” If you have been reading my blog you know that I go through seasons like this, where I have my own little pity party for being single. I try to be brave…and sometimes I just let myself vent. (It also doesn’t help that YL kids I knew in NJ, and their college leaders, are getting engaged and married before I even have a prospect!)
I did recently meet two people through a Christian online matching service who were interesting. One I really liked (as much as you can like from seeing some pics, their facebook, and profile). He seemed like a Godly man (from a super loving family) and told me he was curious about getting to know me. I was really looking forward to making a new friend, while also being cautious about who he would be in person. He must have decided he wasn’t interested, because he hasn’t written in a week. I am a little bummed but it is what it is – and we were only new online friends at that time anyway. And, after reading the fabulous book (which I would recommend to all single women)
He’s Just Not That Into You, I know that that is the case here and I won’t lower myself to pleading emails or flowering up excuses as to why he hasn’t contacted me. (I should also mention that I was the one to write the last email, so the ball is in his court.) Like I said, he did appear to be a quality man, so I am just racking it up to experience and keeping on keeping on.
The other guy wasn’t all that appealing to me. For one reason, he lived way - way too far away. But, he did seem like a nice guy and seemed to love the Lord so I did email with him back and forth a few times. I then found out he voted for Obama. Which, for me, is a deal-breaker. I just don’t think I can be suited well with someone who has such sharply different voting ideals (i.e. abortion). He must have found out I voted for McCain (which to me wasn’t that greatest choice either), because he hasn’t replied to my last email, either! Ha! So, that new friendship has come to a quick end as well. I am much more OK with this one doing that though!
So that being said I am wondering if I should keep on trying the online dating thing or give it a rest. Right now I am only doing the free trial. Of course it is New Year Resolution time so obviously I want to make one of those be “meeting my husband.” (Such a small resolution, right?;-)) I would prefer it be the old fashioned way (in person) but I also want to be open to whatever God has for me. It costs money (and a lot of money to me) so I am trying to decide what to do. He has to be out there, somewhere. I am trying my very best to be content with where God has me each day, and frankly I think I have done a fairly good job at it. Yet I don’t think it is so bad to keep on yearning and seeking out a life partner, as so many other people I know have been blessed with. I know that there are many things I need to work on within myself. But I also know (at least I think I do) that I would be a good wife and mom. I don’t know why God has me in this waiting game, but I will continue to look to Him even if I don’t understand (especially on days like today).
So besides meeting someone my second resolution will be what it always is – keep on moving towards a healthier body and lifestyle. This includes physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually healthy. Physically – I would love to keep up my exercise routine while adding a second workout per day as I did this summer. I want to honor God by what I choose to eat. I also want to drop one to two dress sizes by summer. Totally doable. Mentally – I have been considering going for my Ed. D. While I have decided that right now I don’t have the time to carry that burden, maybe I just could take one class at a time. I do enjoy learning… Socially – I need to spend more time with local single women. I have many, many dear married friends in the area that I love. With Jerelyn marrying, my last close single local Valley friend was “gone.” So, I need to seek out some new peers to add to my circle. I should also mention that I DO still have two wonderful best friends (who happen to still be single – and they are such gems and great catches) who are like sisters to me. But one lives in WA and one in VA. Boo! While I am very thankful that I have a family who likes to hang out and do things together, I still need to stay in touch with Fresno area people who are in the same shoes I am. Spiritually - I would love to find a small group to be a part of (my church does not offer any for single women that I am aware of. While normally I would start one myself to solve that problem, I know that I am at my limit for “leading” responsibilities and really need someone else to be that person.). I also want to be more dedicated to my daily quiet times.
I am getting over being sick. I felt it coming on last week at Jerelyn’s wedding. Turns out I have a viral respiratory infection. I had a phone consultation with a doctor (they were too swamped to get me in) and he informed me of the epidemic (his words, not mine) that is going around – which I am now a part of. Since it is viral I would just have to ride it out. Thankfully everything is happening as he said it would…the time frame as to when I would feel like I turned the corner and now getting better, etc. I can now taste and smell, but I still have sinus pressure and congestion. I didn’t miss any work (of which I am glad of – that I stuck it out) and I am glad that when I go back tomorrow that I will (should) feel even better then today. I am thankful to the Lord of this healing process! It is no fun being sick – I hope that you don’t catch it too!!
Speaking of work, I continue to be busy, busy, busy. A new case popped up about six weeks ago which occupies most of my time. I was able to finish the work that needed to be done NOW, on Wednesday. Now I have to wait until the baby is born to do more. (It is for a relinquishment.) Therefore this week I have to catch up on what I have neglected. It is enough to keep me busy all of this week and then some. I still love doing adoptions. I don’t love not being in control of some decisions and having to abide by some of the totally lame laws, but I do love helping families come together. (It is a privilege to be a part of something so special.) I am thankful for my job! If you are ever in the area, come by and visit. I can always do a long(er) lunch!
I am hoping to attach some pics to this blog post from two special things that happened in Dec (other then Christmas, of course!). My family and I went to Disneyland a few weeks ago. We stand at the Disneyland hotel and spent three days at the two parks. It was a really fun time and my niece’s first visit. I was pleasantly surprised with how many rides she could go on – and the employees were very good with her. The park was much busier then I thought it would be for that time of year (although we did go early one morning and that was so, so worth it) but that was probably because of all the neat Christmas celebrations and decorations that Disney does. It was very cool. I like Disneyland…but don’t feel like it is someplace I need to go to every year. The last time I went to a Disney park was to Disneyworld with Young Life friends in 2004. So, it was definitely time to revisit and it worked well with all of our schedules. Staying in that hotel (which is a treat for this family) was also a huge bonus. I recommend it!
Jerelyn’s wedding was a week ago yesterday. It was very special to be a part of her day. I know that she was happy and so obviously because of that I was happy for her. She was a beautiful bride!! I loved being in the wedding party with one of my best friends, Kristin, too. Some of my sorority sisters were there as well so (as always) it was nice to visit with them. Jerelyn is in Hawaii right now on her honeymoon – lucky! Can’t wait to hear about everything when she comes back. She also now lives in Kingsburg!
January is always a hard month for me. The holidays are over and I feel like it is bleak weather and nothing to look forward to. I am fixing that problem though!! My family and I are going to spend a couple of days up in the snow in Fish Camp, and then I am going to visit Hannah in Seattle in just under three weeks. I am also hoping that she can come down and visit me sometime soon (hint, hint). Plus, my friend Kristin is still in town so I will get in at least one more day with her before she returns to VA. All of these things will make a dismal month (for me) a very bright one!
I caught up on all of your blogs yesterday! I have been so busy, which I think is now my new routine, that I haven’t been the best at visiting all of your sites. But I am thankful that you continue to post, as I do love reading your stories and reading about your creations or adventures. Keep it up!! And thanks for keeping up with me – you all are the best. Love you all. Merry (belated) Christmas and Happy New Year!