My surgery was set for Monday at 1:15. I was told to be there at 11:15 and therefore got there even earlier as I had to take a pregnancy test before my surgery (they wouldn't believe me when I told them it would have had to have been an immaculate conception:-)). I went in and paid hundreds of dollars off my HSA towards my ginormous deductible to appease them (I am on the crappiest insurance ever) and then went over to the lab. The lab was exceptionally busy and after waiting for an hour I was told that I needed to go upstairs and check in with surgery first. What a waste of time. So I went upstairs and checked in, and then went back downstairs to pee in a cup and have them confirm that (shocker) I am not pregnant. (Sidenote, the lab technician started telling me about her recent gall bladder surgery with the same doctor who was to perform mine and how HORRIBLE it was and how she ended up in the ER two days later due to complications. At that point my anxiety tripled.)

I then went back upstairs and waited for about 30 mins to get called in. When I was called in I put on the gown that makes you feel super vulnerable and was assigned a bed to wait in. While I was waiting a surgical nurse came over and told me he was going to start my IV. At this point it was 1ish - we were right on time. He tried pumping up my veins in my hands but then figured he should just do the IV in my arm (which I was hoping for anyway). He first prepared an injection to numb the area and right after he gave me the shot he put in the IV. The numbing had not taken effect yet, I don't know why he didn't wait a bit, but it didn't matter as I have become an expert in getting blood drawn and IVs in that particular vein so it was as expected and I was mentally ready for it. My dad then came back and sat with me and at 1:20 another surgical nurse came back and told me that my doctor was running behind with a patient, and that while I was next in line, I would just have to wait it out.

And wait I did. My parents took turns sitting back in the room with me as we all watched the clock. About every hour I had to get up, grab my IV, and shuffle to the bathroom while holding my gown shut in the back (that IV made me have to pee sooooo much!!). Another patient came in and I discovered that she was to go in after me. (I felt bad for her having to wait too.) We waited until we were the last ones in pre-op. They ended up closing pre-op (around 5 PM) and rolled us over to post-op. I was beyond annoyed about having to wait so long and literally do nothing but get more and more anxious but what are you going to do? It could have been worse - I could have been a part of that family who had been waiting on the surgery before me to finish like it should have hours ago and wondering what the heck was going on.

In post-op I began to see people being rolled out of surgery performed by other doctors. They were still sleeping and they looked terrible - very white and one had his tongue hanging out of his mouth. This only made me even MORE nervous.

Finally at 7:15 I was wheeled into surgery. My doctor was tired but still up for performing it. I was praying the whole time that I would be brave but really all I wanted to do was run away. When they wheeled me into the operating room the first thing I saw was a nurse cleaning the longest surgical tool I had ever seen. I began to silently freak out. They had me get on the other bed and they began to strap my legs down and strap my arms out to the side. They told me they were giving me medicine to make me less nervous and the last thing I remember is the nurse coming over and holding my hand. They never had me count backwards and never told me I was going to sleep. They just did it.

I remember dreaming and feeling my legs go up and down (with these special leg balloon things to prevent blood clots) and shivering, but I didn't come all the way around until I was in the recovery room. Every few mins a chime would go off and a nurse would yell at me to take a deep breath. I had heard them do this with other patients in recovery before I had my surgery so I knew the worst part was over.

For the next hour I tried to wake myself up but all I wanted to do was sleep. I would open my eyes for a bit then sleep some more. Finally the nurse came by and asked me what my pain was. I told him I was in pain and he gave me some meds through my IV. Then he let me rest some more and my dad was allowed in to visit me.

When my dad was sent to the pharmacy I was told to get dressed and get ready to go. I couldn't believe I was being told that. I could barely keep my eyes open, I had just had an organ yanked out and I was in extreme pain, and I was told to get up and get dressed all by myself. I did my best though. I sat up slowly and began to put one foot on the floor. Then a rush of nausea came over me and the nurse came running in with some smelling stuff that didn't help at ALL, it just made me wretch (as he called it) all the more.

Finally after sitting up I was able to get myself together and get dressed. I couldn't bend over and put my shoes on but I managed to put my tshirt and sweats on. At that point I was exhausted and laid back down on the bed. The nurse came in with, oh the joy, another injection of meds. But since he had taken my IV out (before he told me to get dressed) he decided to give me the shot in...my thigh. That was my first experience getting a shot in the thigh and I wouldn't recommend it.

Oh, and did I mention that my throat hurt and I could barely speak as a result of having the tube down my throat during the operation? NO FUN!

OK, this is getting really long so I will try to speed it up. The ride home to Kingsburg was fine, I slept through a lot of it. I was able to eat a few crackers and drink some apple juice which was nice since it had been over 24 hours since I last ate. We got home and I was put to bed. I slept well but had to get up several times to pee as that IV was still working its way through me. I woke up the next morning and was able to hobble hunched over out to the living room. I was able to eat eggs and toast for breakfast and take a shower. I noticed I had three bandages on my stomach. The largest one (which also hurts the most) is the one in my belly button.

In the days that have passed all the bandages have come off except that belly button one. The incisions still hurt but not nearly as much as previously and the past two nights I have been able to go back to sleeping on my stomach (even though it does hurt a bit). I am just careful with bending and what I put against my stomach. Overall I have simply been resting and each day has been better. Today I am getting out of Kingsburg for the first time in close to a week. I can eat normal food and walk fairly well. I plan on going back to work on Monday.

Good things about being house bound:
-Catch up on sleep.
-Get to find out what it is like being in your house at, say, 2 PM on a Wed. afternoon.
-Watch movies (such as John Adams, Baby Mama, crap on TV such as the Brideszilla marathon, and Office season one).
-Catch up on blogs.

Bad things about being housebound:
-You begin to feel sorry for yourself and get angry about the friends and family who don't call/send cards/flowers, and/or volunteer to come over to visit and/or help you.
-Boredom.
-No exercise.
-Feel like you are wasting your time.

Next time I go to the hospital I hope it is for something like a baby! I was told that gall bladder pains and surgery are very comparable, if not worse, then labor and a C-section so I guess I am all set!

BTW, I did not have stones (as ruled as inconclusive by the $700 ultra sound). Just a defective gallbladder with scar tissue that was going kaput. So, I do feel vindicated in that the right decision was made and the surgery and recovery, while hard, was the right and brave thing to do!!:-)

Here are some updated pics for you! I am home and recovering from my surgery - that is a whole separate post! For now here are some bits and pieces to what I have been up to:

While Tammy was in town we had an ADX alum picnic. It was fun seeing the girls (and their husbands and kids) who showed up. Due to this blog being public I am not going to post any of the pics of the kiddos (you can see them on my private Facebook if you'd like) but know we had a super fun time (as we always do!).

Last Saturday Jerelyn and I went to Laguna Hills (which made for a very long day) to see Cindy get married. It was fun to have the roomies reunited again! It was a nice` day. Jerelyn is now a roomie again until she gets married in Dec!

And I know I wrote about SF with Amy in a previous post but here are some pics from the trip...:-) Good times!

Be sure to check out my Facebook album(s) as there are many more updated pics of my life on that site!

Such bad timing, but I need to just get it over with... I am having my gall bladder surgery on Monday. It is very angry and is beating up my liver. It is time for it to go bye-bye. I will be out of commission for at least two weeks. I get bored easily...please come and visit me!

The sad thing is that I am super busy at work and have plans on the weekends coming up that I now have to cancel. Boo to that! Stupid surgery!!! (But oh how I love knowing I will feel much better!!)

Need to get back to work...

Just a quick update...

Went in to see my primary physician this morning. Hep A, B, and C tests came back negative. (No surprise there, hello!, I'm not a prostitute, drug user, nor an alcoholic.) She said it could be shingles but since I don't have a rash it probably isn't. She said it might be mono (which I highly doubt). Anyway, guess who got to have her blood taken again? Yup, that would be me. That's now four times in the last four days. She said if worse come to worse I will have to have a liver biopsy (EW!) but hopefully we can find out what is causing the infection in my liver before then.

In the meantime I am being referred to a surgical doctor for a second opinion about my gall bladder. The ER doctor told me that a polyp can act like a stone and be what is giving me the attacks but my primary physician disagreed. Regardless, I know I cannot stand any more "attacks" so someone better figure someway to fix it ASAP!! I have been doing some research online and it looks like some stones can be smaller then sand or some can be in the ducts...so maybe that is what is going on? I don't know, I'm not to expert.

I am waiting for the blood test results from this morning and I am hoping to get in and get that second opinion ASAP. For now I am back to work and praying that I can make it through the day w/o getting sick. I am keeping my meds near me and I am taking it easy.

I'll (again) keep you posted. Thanks for thinking of and praying for me! I appreciate all you friends who have contacted me and care!! It means a LOT!

I have had a crazy past couple of days. On Monday night I had one of my "attacks" come on. (This was my fourth attack. They come on unexpectedly and can last anywhere from 15 mins to 2 hours or so. My attack usually consists of intense pain and cramping on my right side and upper back, nausea and vomiting, shortness of breath, faintness, etc.) This attack was so much more worse then normal and I ended up going into the ER where they gave me a Morphine IV and took some blood. They said I probably had gall bladder stones, which after having done some research from my previous "attacks," I knew was probably right.

Yesterday I was sent in for more blood work and an ultrasound. I was then sent to the ER to have a doctor there read them as the tests were sent as "STAT." Anyway, after a 7 hour wait (RIDICULOUS) the doctor told me that I have a polyp in my gall bladder and an infection in my liver. He then took more blood!! (I have become a pin cushion.) What infection exactly I have we don't know - he says possibly hepatitis but that is impossible - I go back into the doctor tomorrow morning. The polyp, on the other hand, is probably acting like a stone (it is actually in my gall bladder) which is maybe why I get so violently sick so quickly).

So, needless to say, this is not how I thought this week would go! I have been off from work but plan on going in tomorrow. Right now I should be at Young Life, but obviously if I don't go to work I shouldn't go to Club. I will miss seeing the kids and leaders. Being home today has been boring!

I will keep you updated on what my doctor says tomorrow. I am so thankful for modern medicine!!

I am sitting here in my parents' office on a Monday morning (FYI I will be here at my folks until the 30th). It feels weird to be here when I should be at work. I am home sick, but will be going into work this afternoon so that I don't have to take any sick hours. (I will make up the three I lost this morning some other way.) I actually am feeling better. I started feeling sick on Saturday morning. I woke up with a sore throat. That soon doubled with a stuffy/runny nose, fever, and a sinus headache and I was fairly certain I was getting a sinus infection. Yesterday I forced myself to go to church (because I had missed the week before) and then rested for the remainder of the day. Today I woke up w/o a sore throat. I have a small fever and sinus headache (which Advil should fix) and a stuffy nose. So, I feel like I am turning the corner and things are going to be OK much sooner then expected. And, w/o a costly trip to the doctor (I have crappy Kaiser insurance and a health savings account). PTL I am feeling better and expect to be near 100% tomorrow.:-)

Despite being sick I did have a good weekend! Amy and I went to San Francisco and had a fun time. She took me for my birthday. We stayed in Union Square (which is a great place to stay) and did all the usual SF things: shop, eat at Cheesecake Factory, ride the Cable Car, walk around Pier 39, see the CA sea lions, eat at Ghiradelli's, walk around and look at all the crazy people, take pictures, etc. The weather was beautiful and it was a fun girls' day out. Can't wait to go back! If Amy sends me her pics I will post them here!

I am super excited that Fall is here. My calendar is beginning to get very busy and I am looking forward to the fun things I have planned. I also can't wait to start decorating my house. These next few months are my most favorite time of the year!

Bye for now!

Yesterday, in one sitting at work, I read A Child Called It by David Peltzer. That book tore me up. I couldn't sleep last night because I was thinking about it so much. Today I am hoping to read a good part of The Lost Boy which is the sequel. These books are a must read for everyone. You will find that you just want to reach into those pages and pull that little boy out of his world and keep him safe in your arms. I don't know what happened to his mom (yet) but I hope she is suffering a cruel punishment. For real.

Need to go back and re-read this. Some good points, some points I don't agree with... Still processing...

http://edge.org/3rd_culture/haidt08/haidt08_index.html

And a WONDERFUL read from Relevant magazine. It's like my own thoughts!!





Some good quotes:

*"I've realized I cannot fully embrace either political party. Both sides of the aisle have some great ideas and goals. But both have areas where they simply get it wrong."

*"Many Christians traditionally have voted Republican because of their justifiable conviction to protect the lives of the unborn. Now, many younger Christians are voting Democrat because of their justifiable desire to see our nation, the most prosperous in the world, address issues of poverty, global aid and the environment. The problem is, many Christians vote these convictions, but that's largely where their personal involvement in the issues stops."

*Many Christians want to overturn Roe v. Wade, but I don't hear nearly as many leading the charge on a national adoption movement. If Roe v. Wade is overturned, where are all of those babies going to end up? Christians should be focused on personal action regardless of legislation, not just waiting for the right number of Supreme Court justices to come along."

AMEN!

I have been 30 for a week! While this has been a rough week (feeling sad about some friends who flaked on my party, email locking me out, getting trojan on work computer, swamped at work), my party did start the week off well and the week will definitely end on a good note as I am back in my email and have a fun game to look forward to tonight!

Thanks to all who came to my special celebration. It was a lovely day!! The lunch was better then expected and the weather was great. The company was even greater!! I also had some friends spend the night the evening before and it was so much fun to welcome in my 30's with them at midnight. I am blessed!

Pictures say a thousand words so above are some snapshots of some folks on the big day.:-)

HELP!!!

I have been locked out of my Yahoo! account for almost a week now. It must have been a glitch as I was in my email when it kicked me out. I have never had this problem before and it could not have come at a worse time. I have complied fully with requests Yahoo! has sent me, i.e. answering secret questions and sending them a fax with a copy of my license, and yet I am still getting the run around. I use this email so much and it is stressing me out that I can't get into it. It's like they don't believe me or something... I think if I were lying I would have given up by now. I have called four times, one of which I was on hold for TWO HOURS (I am so not joking), sent them two faxes, and emailed about 8 or so times. Any suggestions or connections on how to fix this problem? I am SO up a creek if I can't get in ASAP. I have even thought about legal help but I don't want to come across as threatening. I wish Yahoo! cared more....!!!

I love four day work weeks! I think we should have them every week.:-) But, when I mentioned this to my SIL, she said that when we did we would soon want three day work weeks. She is probably right. The grass is always greener on the other side. But - still - thank goodness it is Friday...and so soon! And, not only is is Friday, but it is the last day of my twenties.

My Labor day weekend was terrific. I spent it with three other YL leaders from Kingsburg: Johnie, Jane, and Denver. The Folwer leaders were also there. We were up at Camp Nelson - in the mountains East of Porterville. I must admit I was kinda dreading the weekend - but ended up going home from our time together feeling rested, encouraged, and excited for the upcoming year of ministry. I also made some new friends and bettered other friendships and that was time definitely well spent.

And then how 'bout them Dogs on Monday??:-) Ooooooh yeah!! So fun it was in NJ - but I was still loyal to my alma mater.

Work was really busy this week. I am still not caught up. I had to work until 8:30 last night to help with training of the foster parents, but as a result I get off work at 12:30 today. If I were really good I would still work a full day to get caught up - but I am not that good.:-))

I got two compliments this week. One set of foster parents told me that in all the years they have been with our agency that no one has ever left them feeling encouraged like I do when I meet with them. That totally made my day because I am still learning my job in some ways. The other compliment was from my boss when she told me I was "losing my butt." Hey, I don't care if it was my boss, at least someone is noticing that I am working my butt off - literally!

As I'm sure most of you have gathered, I am beyond thrilled with the choice of Sarah Palin for VP. There are many reasons for this, but particularly because she shares many of the values and beliefs that I do. I do not feel that she, nor her family, are being treated fairly by the majority of the media - and this really fires me up. However, I must say that I was more then encouraged when I read the following article. I hope you are too...

Dr. James Dobson: The Palins Are in My Prayers
http://www.citizenlink.org/focusaction/pressreleases/A000008081.cfm
The governor and her family 'should be commended once again for not just talking about their pro-life and pro-family values, but living them out.'

Colorado Springs, Colo. – James C. Dobson, Ph.D., issued the following statement today in the wake of media reports that Bristol Palin, 17-year-old daughter of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, is pregnant.

In the 32-year history of Focus on the Family, we have offered prayer, counseling and resource assistance to tens of thousands of parents and children in the same situation the Palins are now facing. We have always encouraged the parents to love and support their children and always advised the girls to see their pregnancies through, even though there will of course be challenges along the way. That is what the Palins are doing, and they should be commended once again for not just talking about their pro-life and pro-family values, but living them out even in the midst of trying circumstances.

Being a Christian does not mean you're perfect. Nor does it mean your children are perfect. But it does mean there is forgiveness and restoration when we confess our imperfections to the Lord. I've been the beneficiary of that forgiveness and restoration in my own life countless times, as I'm sure the Palins have.

The media are already trying to spin this as evidence Gov. Palin is a 'hypocrite,' but all it really means is that she and her family are human. They are in my prayers and those of millions of Americans.

Tomorrow is my 30th birthday and party. I have some friends in town and expect to see lots more tomorrow, along with family. It should be a great time and I must admit that while they may be coming to celebrate my 30 years of life with cake and stories, to me I am celebrating them because they have made those years worth living. So to all my loved ones I say thanks for a terrific last 30 years, from the bottom of my heart, and here is to 30 more. Thanks for loving me and for all you have done for me. It is my hope I can be there for you too.


While a bit sad and nervous to leave my youthful twenties, this decade is going to be awesome. In my next 30 years I will marry my husband (pretty bold statement, but I am trusting God for this) and have babies of my very own. AMAZING! I will be older, wiser, and know myself better then I ever have. I will start new relationships with friends and grow even more in the bonds I have with wonderful family and friends who are like family. I will grow and continue to learn about the wonders God has placed around me. I will also continue to have the opportunity to love and serve others and God with all that I am, as simple and as complicated as that is.

Thirty, here I come. I am scared. I am excited. I am ready.

Yes, I admit it, I have a crush!

100 Things I have discovered or experienced over the last 30 years...


1. I want to stay in my twenties.
2. If I could, I would see my niece every day.
3. I have a terrible habit of speeding.
4. I think that people's teeth say a lot about them, and it usually is the first thing I notice.
5. I think that my parents are generous.
6. I am a chronic channel changer.
7. I think that sleeping in and naps are luxurious.
8. My nickname is "pumpkin noodle."
9. "You've Got Mail" makes me want to move to NY. One of my fave movies.
10. I love mushrooms.
11. I cheated on something my freshman year and still don't regret it. It wasn't academic.
12. I can't wear a necklace if I wear big dangly earrings...usually.
13. I am then halfway done with Christmas shopping.
14. If I could I wouldn't work and volunteer my time for different things instead.
15. I feel guilty if I don't recycle.
16. A guilty pleasure - Adam Corolla and Kathy Griffin's comedy.
17. One of my fave past times as a kid was dancing for whoever would watch, in tap shoes.
18. People who are flakes ---> my biggest pet peeve.
19. I hope to visit every US state before I die.
20. I love fried okra.
21. I hate washing my face before going to bed.
22. I think one of my ears is higher then the other.
23. I am NOT a gold kind of girl. Silver, please!
24. At 30 I still don't have any cavities!
25. I treat people that way I wish to be treated.
26. I have to check all the rooms in my house if my alarm wasn't on before I go to bed.
27. Gerber daisies are my fave flower.
28. I attach sentimental value to way too many things.
29. I condition my hair (almost) every Saturday.
30. Brownie Sundaes are my favorite dessert.
31. Scales on fish gross me out.
32. I wish I would have got my nose pierced sooner.
33. I like our president.
34. I tweeze my eyebrows on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
35. If I could I would live in Amish Country (but remain "English.")
36. I usually fall asleep with the TV on.
37. I wish for hardwood floors in my house.
38. I couldn't marry a democrat.
39. I use a safety pin to separate my eyelashes every morning.
40. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are my favorite candy.
41. When I go to the eye doctor, I refuse to let them give me eye drops.
42. I would like a small tattoo eventually.
43. I love (most) animals.
44. I consider loyal friends one of the greatest blessings in life.
45. In undergrad I kissed up to teacher for good grades. It worked occasionally.
46. I am really scared of mice and snakes.
47. My favorite author (lately) is Beverly Lewis.
48. I think my eyes are too close together.
49. I want to see a moose in the wild before I die.
50. I don't eat pink meat. (Ham specifically)
51. I love being on boats, but won't get in the water if I can't see what's swimming around me.
52. I would like to write a book.
53. My favorite color is red.
54. My favorite saying is, "Nothing changes if nothing changes."
55. I am not a big fan of hot drinks (especially coffee and tea).
56. My favorite past time is traveling with loved ones.
57. I bought my car off of eBay.
58. I enjoy my church and learn a lot.
59. I wish I were a runner.
60. I don't like beans, or green beans.
61. Target it one of my favorite stores.
62. I still think it would be great to be a news anchor.
63. I don't own an iPod. I am so behind the times!
64. When I was little I would fake nightmares so I could sleep in my parents' room.
65. I was a HUGE nerd in the 5th grade.
66. The Fall is my favorite time of year.
67. I wish I was more brave and more of a rule breaker.
68. I have been dragging my feet about a hands-free device, but need to get one already.
69. I think that everyone should see a counselor regularly.
70. I am the only one under 50 who admits she likes Cracker Barrel.
71. My favorite state is PA.
72. I love, love, love to fly.
73. When I was in the 4th/5th grade I sang in a talent show. What was I thinking???
74. My favorite smell is orange blossoms.
75. I sometimes worry that I am too "vanilla."
76. I worry that cell phone radiation is taking away my memory.
77. I like my hair color.
78. I like facebook better then myspace.
79. If I could, I would totally get a housekeeper.
80. It is really, really, hard for me to drink after people.
81. I don't like the sound of knuckles popping and therefore won't pop my own.
82. My favorite place on the coast is Cambria.
83. My pledge name is huey.
84. I am a TERRIBLE skier.
85. My spiritual gifts are mercy, discernment, and giving.
86. I used to write notes to God and hide them in my room, then be sad when I discovered they were still there.
87. One time when I wore my hair in a bun in the second grade, a little boy asked me if i was a boy or a girl. I hardly wore buns ever again.
88. I love to laugh until I cry.
89. I think that my gall bladder is causing me trouble and needs to come out.
90. I like Long John Silvers, but refuse to eat the fish.
91. I am beginning to get gray hair.
92. I love a tidy house.
93. I hate cleaning my house more then anything.
94. I have a kitten named Jersey. He is crazy.
95. I wish I didn't have so many freckles.
96. I have become an avid reader in the last year or so.
97. Wicked is my favorite Broadway show.
98. I think that retail therapy does work, sometimes.
99. I am a sucker for cheesy (not skanky) reality TV.
100. My dad's tri tip is my favorite meal.

Yesterday I went to the dentist for the first time in, well, a while. I went religiously growing up and until I moved away to NJ. Once I moved I figured I would go see him when I came home on vacation. I obviously wasn't thinking - as visiting the dentist is the last thing I wanted to do on my vacations home. So, six months turned into a year and on and on. Then, yesterday, I sat in that dreaded chair for the first time in four years.

I decided not to go back to my former dentist for various reasons, none of which I should list publicly on this website. I needed to go, as I could tell my lower left back tooth (I'm sure that's the scientific name of it :-)) was hurting me, and I was super scared I had a cavity. This may seem like no big deal to you, but to me it was huge. I had never had a cavity before...and the fear of the unknown - how bad the shot in my mouth was going to hurt - had me terrified. I knew I needed to be a big girl and just deal with it, but I wanted to make sure I saw a dentist who was VERY gentle and wouldn't judge me for not going to the dentist for the last four years.

Two of my coworkers told me that they share the same dentist and love him. They spoke so highly of him I felt more comforted about the impending visit and made the call to see him. The only problem was that he was out of network. However, having worked with insurance before (when I worked with Dr. Page) I thought that it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

I must say that they were very right about this dentist. He is very modern and his methods are cutting edge. He had a computer screen at every chair and literally used a mini video camera - about the size of a pen - to show me my teeth on the screen so I could know what he was talking about. He took the time to get to know me and he genuinely cared about me and my teeth. The dental hygienists who were working there seemed super nice. He also reassured me that shots were no issue at all, he actually calls them "numbing," and that the only reason I am worried is because I have never experienced him doing it. His self confidence made me feel so much better and I was ready to sign on the dotted line as his patient.

When he did the examination he did find that I have a crack in the tooth that was bothering me. While I still do not have any cavities (my goal is to never get any) I do need to get a crown on that tooth. I was not so happy to hear about that, and the process involved, but was glad to know I was going to get it resolved. I was also not too happy to hear that I will probably need another crown soon as he noticed another "baby" crack, which will soon grow, in a tooth on the lower right side of my mouth.

Have any of you ever had this happen? And what am I in for?

As I was leaving I went to the front counter to pay for my visit, set my appointments for a cleaning and crown, and tie up other loose ends from the visit. The very nice receptionist made the appointments and then started punching away at her calculator. She then proceeded to tell me information that made me want to pound my forehead on the counter...multiple times...and then do it again. The crown, my share of it, will be $680. Because I chose to go out of network, my insurance will only cover 30%. Holy crap.

So now I have this dilemma. Do I stick with this incredible dentist and get the dreaded procedure done and pay for it out of pocket (well, that's what 70% feels to me), or go to another dentist, perhaps my old one, and pay less while maybe getting less that decent service...and shots that hurt??? I should note here that while crowns are super expensive, my out of network insurance will cover lots more of the other services offered at the new dentist. Knowing that I have a second crown coming up in the near future though, my problem only becomes that more confusing.

What would you do?

I just signed a petition opposing California utility giant PG&E's efforts to defeat the state marriage amendment on the Nov. 4 ballot. Californians who believe the definition of marriage is between one man and one woman are urged to take immediate action by signing this important petition. Please go here to sign: http://www.focuspetitions.com/165/petition.asp?PID=18020081&NID=1

In a little over two weeks I will be 30. (YIKES) I am hoping to do several things with this blog to commemorate this milestone over the next three Thursdays. The first is a letter to myself as an 18-year-old. It was great to write - I recommend you do it for yourself and discover how God has brought you to where you are this very moment.

Dear Ashley,

You are 18 and a college freshman. You think you are so old, and have it pretty much all figured out. You think you are going to be married and done with having kids by 30. You think you are on top of the world. You have so much hope, and tons of promise. Oh, being 18 is great for those things alone and you are going to love this year for many reasons.

Let me tell you though, dear girl, that you are young (YOUNG!) and inexperienced. This is not a bad thing. In fact, many say that youth is wasted on the young. Please, don't waste it. Take advantage of your time and your circumstances. You still have a sweet innocence about you. You have yet to discover real heartache and challenges.

I am writing to you as a soon to be 30-year-old. And, take a seat, because you are going to be floored when I tell you the rest. You aren't married. You don't have children. You are back in Kingsburg. You aren't doing what you majored in. You are not at all what you envisioned you will be.

And that's OK.

Ashley, the next twelve years of your life are going to be hard...and then really great. Your twenties will really suck until you are 24ish. The last half of your twenties are going to be awesome...rough at times...but altogether wonderful. You are going to become a whole different person. At times you are going to wonder if you are still the girl you were at 18 at heart. I am here, standing on the other end, to tell you yes - that and so much more because of the many experiences you are going to encounter. You are beautiful, smart, have a good heart, loyal, and worth it. You are SO WORTH IT. I repeat this because this is what you will ponder for a good many years.

As I write you I wonder if I should give you some advice on how to live the next twelve years of your life. Many of the struggles will teach you and shape you to be a better person for yourself and others. Some of the obstacles you have to endure will be the result of stupid (LAME!) mistakes. And many wonderful adventures and surprises will come your way...all of these which come by the will of God.

Which brings me to a major thing I want you to realize (and I know you think you are too good at times to listen at 18). Listen to your Christian mentors and friends. Heed their advice. Soak in their wisdom. God places them in your path for a reason. He chooses to speak through them. If you allow them, they will be a huge blessing in your life and help you tremendously so you can turn around and let God do the same through you for others.

Some other pointers (30 for 30) that you should know as you prepare for the next few years:

1) You will wonder if leaving Milligan is the right choice. It is. You will stay friends with the girls. Go to Fresno State. You are going to make some amazing friends there...
2) One of those Fresno State girls will become one of your best friends and end up living on the other side of the country with you (YES! You will be moving back East!)
3) You will date a boy fairly soon. End it when you know to end it. Don't let it drag on...and on...and on. Respect him and yourself when ending it.
4) It's OK to take that semester off from Fresno State when you wanted to. If you don't, you will fail that whole semester anyway.
5) Don't let Dr. Tucker treat you badly for being a Christian. Confront him in love, take it to the faculty.
6) Becoming an intern with YL is the right thing to do. Do it. That girl you see around, Tiffanie, become friends with her ASAP. She is awesome and will be a great ally during your first few years on staff.
7) When you sub to make some extra money, don't do jr. high or high school. Yeah, you are young and cool, but it still doesn't matter. They are punk kids to subs. Little ones, on the other hand, LOVE their subs. Don't give yourself that stress.
8) Don't let others make you feel guilty over job decisions, or having to re-talk over and over and process the hurt in your life from disappointment and lack of direction in several areas.
9) and...go to counseling!!!
10) Hang out with the ADX girls as much as you can. They are a gift.
11) It's OK to not know a plan. When you begin to feel like you don't know what to do with your life and feel like taking a job as a chiropractic assistant is crap, do it anyway. It is just a stepping stone to a surprise God has waiting for you. And the roommates you will have during that waiting period of a few years will be a blast over all and give you great times.
12) You go girl and take those trips. It will give you a taste of what God wants you to do.
13) When you move to NJ (I know, I bet you never thought you would go there of all places), take the time to learn the culture and work with it properly.
14) When you move to NJ, you will begin to date. It won't end up the way you planned. Be prepared and don't give away your heart. Date him though, those months will give you great memories.
15) Take advantage of the location you are in. This will be one of the best times of your life until now. God will also help develop a wonderful friendship with two girls - both from the West Coast!
16) Go to grad school. It will be hard and take what one particular prof tells you about yourself with a grain of salt. The rest of it will be great and include new and terrific friends. God will teach you a lot. You WILL graduate. Oh, and on that one incident at school, speak up and do the right thing. You'll know what I mean.
17) Be as relational as possible with the YLWJ kids entrusted to your care - and the committee.
18) Don't ever be satisfied with your walk with Jesus. Always desire Him first.
19) Know He loves you as you are, you will doubt that at times. Be ready to counter attack those thoughts.
20) Like that commercial says, brownies ARE your enemy. Don't let yourself gain that weight back.
21) Your family will be there for you in the best way they know how. Be that for them too.
22) When you come back to CA, don't get a foreign exchange student.
23) Be the cheer advisor, but put your foot down with the crazy parents from the very beginning.
24) Be an example...even when alone.
25) Do the right thing...always
26) Love Jesus and others as best you can, and then more. That way you will be pushing yourself to go further and out of your comfort zone.
27) You won't be married when you are 30. So don't spend your twenties worrying about it. Learn to be content with where God has you in the moment. And being single can be tons of fun.
28) Date those boys that you passed over because you were way too picky. But yeah, those boys you did pass over because they were weird, that's still OK.
29) Avoid debt.
30) That two drink limit rule? It's a good one. Keep it.

Love, Ashley

I'm here, I'm here! Sorry for the delay in posting! Let's see if I can catch you up...:-)

2!
Sullivan turned two on the 11th. It was a blessing to be with her on her first and second birthday - something I probably couldn't have done had I been on the East Coast during this time. It was fun celebrating with her. She is talking more and more. Here is a picture of us playing with her new kitchen set.

Cambria
I think that Cambria is my favorite spot on the coast. Jerelyn invited me to go over there last weekend. We stayed at her grandmother's house/cabin and her parents and sister joined us. The weather was beautiful. We spent time on the beach walking around and taking pictures, visiting, watching wild turkeys, shopping, etc. Her parents also treated us to dinner at a place I hope to go to again. Can't wait to go back! Sometimes I forget about Cambria and usually go to Pismo, but I think this beautiful spot on the CenCal coast is a tradition I want to stick with!

Work
I am training in adoptions and loving it!! While foster care is rewarding, at times, adoption is just a whole different ball game. I am really excited to call myself a foster care and adoption social worker - it makes me feel much more versatile! (hehehe) In the meantime I picked up five more foster kids on my case load. Unfortunately an emergency arose with that family and ever since I have been hopping!! I have been more busy here at work the past few days then I have the whole summer. While the situation that happened is sad - I do really enjoy being busy. It makes me feel productive. I have heard that things really pick up with school starting, so we'll see if my next few days continue to be busy. On the 28th I will have been in this job for a year. Crazy!

Par-tay
Hopefully by now each of you have received an evite to my 30th birthday party. If not, let me know and I will send it your way. I am really looking forward to getting the majority of my friends and family together. While I hope to (obviously) do it again (if) when I get married, I will always have this time to look back on in case that doesn't happen. I think a 30th birthday is as good excuse as any to enjoy time with loved ones, don't you??

Hopefully I will become better about blogging! I know I always say that and then it never happens...let's have faith it will stick this time!!:-)

I was tagged by Suzanne... so here we go!
Four jobs I’ve had:
1- Social Worker
2- Young Life Area Director
3- Chiropractic Assistant
4- Nanny
Four movies I’ve watched more than once:
1- You've Got Mail
2- Steel Magnolias
3- 13 going on 30
4- Sleepless in Seattle
Four places I’ve lived:
1- California
2- New Jersey
3- Utah
4- Tennessee
Four TV shows I watch:
1- Today Show
2- The Hills
3- Hopkins
4- Jon and Kate Plus 8
Four places I’ve been:
1- England
2- Sweden
3- Netherlands
4- Canada
Four people who email me regularly (regularly? how about more often then not):
1- Jerelyn (sometimes while at work)
2- GOP
3- Kristin (sometimes while at work)
4- Dad
Four of my favorite foods:
1- Italian
2- Mexican
3- BBQ trip tip
4- Brownie Sundae
Four places I would love to visit:
1- Ireland
2- England
3- Scotland
4- Nova Scotia
Four things I’m looking forward to in the coming year:
1- Meeting husband (hey, a girl can hope)
2- Where God will take me next (EC? and fun trips!)
3- Getting fit
4- Getting out of debt
Four blog friends I’m tagging (I'm tagging non ADX girls!):
1- Brooke P.
2- Courtney S.(although I think she might have done this recently)
3- Hannah S.
4 - Jana G.

A funny way to start off the work week...I know I have shared this with a couple of you...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8

Thanks dooce.com for the laugh!

(Happy 2nd bday, today, Sullivan!)

OK, I think I made this facebook album available to everyone - so you don't have to be a member to see it (the cruise pics). Enjoy!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=46743&l=a4404&id=505007171